Love Stings!

I heard about this caper and decided to look into it. When I was provided with the details, I just couldn't believe it, and I may or may not have called my friend a liar to his face!

Now, before we get started, please understand we are not here to judge anyone because of their hobbies. I would also like to point out that we are NOT here to kink-shame anyone, especially a fanatical nature lover like our hero, Michael Crawford!

Here we go...

Michael Crawford, a young methamphetamine enthusiast, was walking around a convenance store, presumably on a "Tweaker Side Quest." Unfortunately for everyone, Michael's pants kept falling down, exposing his genitals multiple times, which led to the 911 call. According to the police report, Michael did some shoplifting and continued on his quest. This brought him to what I can only assume was a really, really good looking...beehive. Then, according to page 4 of the police report, Michael had sex with the-freaking-BEEHIVE!!

As you can imagine, Michael suffered multiple bee stings from some understandably angry bees. He was not able to provide a statement. :(

While this story is seriously funny, please remember that Michael, and many like Michael, are walking among us on the mean streets of Tucson.

Stay armed, stay safe, and as always, I always appreciate you stopping by!

-Mr. James Voss

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Who Is This "Michael Crawford" Rascal???

Michael Crawford has been a pain in Tucson's butt for a long time. He used to be a fixture on the east side, specifically, in the E 22nd St & Old Spanish Trail area. Not being the "worker" type, Michael chose aggressive panhandling to finance his meth adventures. However, thanks to constant pressure by persistent cops and several trips to the Pima County Jail, Michael was broken! He relocated to the south side of Tucson. **I freely admit the southern migration may have been due to the beautiful beehives on the south side...

The above listed booking photo is from January 13, 2024 when he was arrested for, you guessed it, aggressive panhandling! Young Michael was confronted by an especially salty Tucson Cop by the name of Scott "The Loathsome Brute" Morken. Michael must have sensed the long arm of the law closing in so naturally, he picked up a handful of rocks and threw them at Officer Morken! The fight was on and as you can see, MIchael got beat like a rented mule. It wasn't a completely one-sided victory, Michael clearly blocked several of Officer Morken's strikes with his face. :/

Love Stings!

Who Is This "Michael Crawford" Rascal???

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